Do You Know Where Your Kids Are?

Or more importantly, what they are doing?  With the internet available on so many devices you may have no idea.  You know Facebook, Twitter, MySpace (yes, I guess people still use it), Google +, and Instagram.  I'm guessing most of you have been drawn to the lure of Pinterest.  You may know Tumblr and Reddit.  How about Kik, Voxer, Snapchat, Wanelo or Pheed? 

This week in Florida 2 teenaged girls were charged as juveniles with aggravated stalking after allegedly taunting and bullying a 12 year old girl until she committed suicide.  Over the weekend the 14 year old posted  "Yes ik I bullied REBECCA nd she killed her self but IDGAF".  How many parents would be happy to see their kid post that?  (For the record the girl claims her page was hacked.  I'll bite my tongue...) 



But the one that scares me the most is ask.fm.  Ask.fm is a wildly popular social networking site where teens can post anonymously without the prying eyes of parents...and has been linked to an unknown number of suicides. These are directly from the page of a 16 year old girl, none have been made up.  And her grandparents, who she lives with, know nothing about the page.  Some are the questions are nice...

When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?

When you imagine yourself as really, really relaxed and happy, what are you doing?

 If dogs never existed, which animal would take its place as Man's Best Friend?


Even some that are sweet, even if the subject is not

don't hurt your self you beautiful

don't listen to people sending hate and don't even think about take that blade to your skin your beautiful and don't ever forget that before you cut think of how your gunna have to cover all the scars it's just one big mess stay beautiful<3

If your ever down, put your hand on your heart, what do u feel? That is a reason to keep going and don't listen to anyone, and if you alone u have me :)

You're life isn't perfect. No ones is. I get it. I used to cut. I know what it feels like to be surrounded by support it feel so lonely and rejected. But, its not worth it. You're going to have to explain them to your kids and then they are going to think it okay. I beg you to save them from that.<3

But things can change quick...

Bra size?
 
why you so ugly
 
go cut yourself
 
I can't wait for you to die
 
Have you ever had sex
 
I want you to die you are so fucking ugly
 
last time you cut?
 
I want you to die

STOP CUTTING. IT'S GROSS AND IMMATURE . HOW ARE U SUPPOSED TO EXPLAIN THE DREADED SCARS. IT'S JUST GROSS. OUT OF ALL OF THE PEOPLE THAT GOD COULD HAVE PUT INTO THE WORLD, HE COHOSE YOU. AND IF U CAN'T REALIZE THAT U HAVE THE GIFT OF LIFE THEN U R JUST ABOUT THE DUMBEST PERSON EVER. STOPP CUTTING!
 
Do you send nudes or ass pics

You got some tig ol' bitties and your sexy af'


It was a hell of a lot harder to find the nice ones than the brutal ones.  I'm crying too hard to look at more.  Especially when an innocent question gets a terrifying answer...

What is your favorite thing to drink?

Bleach

Chances are, the teens in your life are (or have been) on ask.fm.  And you probably wouldn't even know it.  When we were kids, you were bullied face to face.  Or sometimes face to fist.  Sometimes it was a passed in a note, written on a desk, or even a phone call.  But nothing like it is today (damn, typing that made me feel old).  Now it's on websites, Facebook, texts, IMs, etc. 

Sites and apps pop up all the time.  Sites you may never hear about.  Pages can be set to private, or to let certain people see only what they want them to see.  Accounts can be made that never show the person's real name.  Texts and messages can be deleted.  With apps like Snapchat, once the photo is open it disappears.  And I have just found a new one...that's how quickly they pop up.  Skim, which does the same things with chats.  Wow, I found this in an article posted yesterday.  Like I said, they pop up all the time.         

So what can you do to keep the kids in your life safe?  I honestly have no idea.  Be aware, know about the different social media sites & apps, watch your kids closely.  Don't be afraid of watching too much, because it's so much better than finding out your child has been cyberbullied to the point of no return.  Google your kid's name, along with a key word like your town.  Whole names, nicknames...that's how I found a Tumblr page for the same kid (see my previous post about cutting).  Once they're caught with one page they can always set up another.  Have others on your side...just because you're blocked doesn't mean everyone else is.  And keep your eyes open.  Because your child might be the cyberbully or the victim and you may never know.

But Wait, There's More!

This morning I woke up at 4:30am and couldn't fall back to sleep.  Insomnia sucks.  There's not a lot to do at that hour (alone, anyway) so I turned on the TV.  It's amazing the things you can do.  If you, or someone you know, has suffered any kind of ailment or had anything replaced, you may be entitled to compensation.  You can get your college degree online, and they will even match you with the right school JUST FOR YOU.  Money tied up in a structured settlement?  JG Wentworth can help!  It's amazing how many celebrities look like shit if they don't use Proactiv.  And then there is this classic...they have even added the infamous line into their tag line. 

 

 

But nothing beats the "as seen on TV" products.  Let me first say that I have a warped affection for these products.  So much so that birthday and Christmas gifts exchanged with my best friend almost always include something "as seen on TV".  For Christmas she got her own Forever Lazy.  I own some items myself, but I'll get into that in a bit.

In the old days you could only get these items by mail, no CODs (if you're old enough that will make sense).  There was always a special offer...order now and we'll double your order, just pay separate shipping and handling.  Which made no sense, because you were paying that twice but they were shipping it all together.  Available for 4 easy payments of $39.99...but wait!  Act now and make only 3 payments of $39.99!

There are the classics, of course.  ShamWOW, Chia Pets, the BeDazzler, Flowbee (because who doesn't want to cut their hair with a vacuum?), Ginsu Knives, the Clapper, Richard Simmons and his "Sweating To The Oldies".  And then there was pretty much anything offered by Ron Popeil...Pocket Fisherman, Veg-O-Matic, GLH Formula Number 9 Hair System (the spray that covers your balding spots), the Chop-O-Matic and the Electric Food Dehydrator, just to name a few.  On a side note, when my grandmother died the minister looked just like him.  He asked the mourners "what would you give to get into heaven" and I turned to my mother and said "$19.95".  My father was not too happy with our attempts to keep from giggling.

Some of my new favorites have been getting a lot of airplay.  There's the Aero Knife, which actually says "if you want to cut the cheese".  When you're overtired and have the mind of a 12 year old boy that makes you snicker.  The Cat's Meow cat toy will turn your lazy kitty into crazy kitty. 
The Wax Vac ear cleaner, which I really don't need to describe.  The Olde Brooklyn Lantern, which sounds like a dirty sex reference.  The Table-Mate, which is like having 18 tables in one.

Here's the description of another that has caught my eye..."The Stone Wave will help you prepare delicious, gourmet foods in your microwave that your whole family will love, in LESS THAN five minutes! The secret is in the specially designed chimney that allows steam to escape, while the custom dome circulates heat evenly, infusing flavor into every bite! And with Stone Wave’s non-stick surface, you can make everything from eggs to baked desserts without butter, fats, or oils, for healthy, mess-free meals!"  With that many exclamation points how can it not be amazing?

I am not ashamed to say that I own some "as seen on TV" items.  I have 4 Snuggies, although they are all still in their boxes.  The Emory Cat scratch board, which Pedey has never scratched on.  I do love my Sticky Buddy (it has little rubber fingers that reach deep).  A few Chia-Pets, also in their boxes.  And various knock-offs too. 

The only "as seen on TV" offer I've ever gotten that I have never regretted was Bare Minerals.  I've never worn much makeup but the commercial made it took so appealing.  It was a "fully customizable get started kit" and completely won me over.  And no, I have no connection to the company.   

The next time you're watching these commercials just remember they're never quite as good as they seem.  Except for Life Alert...if I fall I wanna be able to get up.

Dear Facebook...

I love our page.  I make no money off it, I just do it for fun.  We have some kick ass "fans" (sorry, I don't know what else to call them), many of whom make me smile just by leaving a comment.  Unlike so many damn pages I won't link to ilyke, lolspots, rolfzone or like.com.  And I'm sure there are others.  I don't want the same thing posting at the same time on tons of pages, and I don't want our followers to have to click to another site to see it.  For the record, I don't begrudge pages who do that.  Believe me, having an automated system post the majority of the content and making money at the same time is awfully appealing.  I may not always be funny or insightful, but I try to be semi original.

It's so discouraging when out of over 17,500 people, only a few hundred are seeing what we post.  The rules keep changing.  You can't just hit "like" and have a page's posts show up on your timeline.  I would assume that if someone likes a page then they want to see it.  But there have been times when things that I posted on Laptop Confessions myself have not shown up on my own newsfeed.   

What most people don't know is that you want me to pay to have my posts seen by more people.  If I was a business I wouldn't have a problem with it.  Sometimes you have to spend money to make money.  But I don't make money from the page, and you essentially want me to buy views.  You can set a daily budget.  I can't afford that, I need to get working on my bail fund.  

• For $5 one post will reach an estimated 7,200-13,000 people.  Yeah, we already have more people who have liked our page and you have kept them from seeing us.
• For $30 one post will reach an estimated 28,000-52,000 people.  Still, for one post.
• For $100 one post will reach an estimated 44,000-83,000 people.  Oh, and that one post is over the course of one day.
• For $200 one post will reach an estimated 69,000-130,000 people.  You'd think it would reach double since you're paying double.  I guess not.
• For $2,000 one post will reach an estimated 330,000-620,000 people.  Sorry, this leaves me speechless.

I know that before I had a page I would spend more time of Facebook because I enjoyed visiting pages.  Not because I am getting a suggestion to like Giuliana Rancic and her " fall FabFitFun VIP Box full of $175+ of must try products".  Yup, that's the second thing on my newsfeed.  And if you ask the average Facebook user (not your shareholders who just want more money) I'm pretty sure they'd say the same.  Even if that FabFitFun VIP Box looks very intriguing. 

Don't make me beg people who might kinda like me (Sweets, that is) to like and comment and share.  We don't need to be a big page, but I am a bit of an attention whore.  It's not just us.  It's most pages.  I want to see my favorite pages show up on my newsfeed.  I want to know when my favorite bloggers post something new (hopefully someday someone will think like that about us).  I want to be entertained. 

And I want to grow both our page and this blog.  Because both, in many ways, have saved me.

Smooches,
Sweets