We're Baaaaaaack!

The Laptop Confessions blog has returned for your reading pleasure!  You'll get to know the real us.  The good, the bad, the ugly & the insane.

And we want your help.  Send us your stories, your confessions, the questions you just never knew where to ask.  Everything is anonymous, we'll never tell...

Laptopconfessions@gmail.com

Signs You Are Too Drunk

Some signs that you might be too drunk...

-You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
-You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
-Your job is interfering with your drinking.

-Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
-Your career won't progress beyond Senator of Massachusetts.
-The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
-You sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.
-24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not!
-Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem!
-You can focus better with one eye closed.
-The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
-Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
-Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!
-Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you
-At AA meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is...uh..."
-Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
-You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed.
-The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in...

-And you read the title and thought "Too drunk?  Impossible"

It Sucks

I'm trying to come up with something to write but my head is spinning. One minute I'm smiling, the next I'm crying, and soon I'm just numb. I don't know how I got to this point. The point where it's become so hard to move forward but too painful to look back.

I know what I want. And it's really not that much. But every time I take a step forward I get thrown 2 steps back. It feels like the world is against me, that I'm in it alone. I have friends, and the families I've made, but in the end I'm here alone.

The darkness has taken over, bit by bit. I don't know how to get out of it. Sometimes I don't want to. Some days it seems easier to just throw in the towel. But I don't. I take those little steps and try to avoid the steaming pile of shit hiding in the grass. Sometimes my body and my mind shut down, so I let it. And then I make myself get up the next day and try again.