I'm trying to come up with something to write but my head is spinning. One minute I'm smiling, the next I'm crying, and soon I'm just numb. I don't know how I got to this point. The point where it's become so hard to move forward but too painful to look back.
I know what I want. And it's really not that much. But every time I take a step forward I get thrown 2 steps back. It feels like the world is against me, that I'm in it alone. I have friends, and the families I've made, but in the end I'm here alone.
The darkness has taken over, bit by bit. I don't know how to get out of it. Sometimes I don't want to. Some days it seems easier to just throw in the towel. But I don't. I take those little steps and try to avoid the steaming pile of shit hiding in the grass. Sometimes my body and my mind shut down, so I let it. And then I make myself get up the next day and try again.
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